Is Your Dad a Tard? Mine Either.

February 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

Advertisers are assholes and they treat you like morons. Don’t prove them right. You should be more skeptical. I’ve seen so many commercials depicting men and fathers as helpless retard jackasses. Contrary to what you see on TV, most men are not running around with their zippers down and snot running down their nose.  Look around you, there are probably some jackasses but how many of them are borderline mentally challenged and incapable of solving problems? Not many. But TV shows us there are aplenty.

Do you remember the Carl’s Jr. Ad on TV where men are wandering around the grocery store seemingly incapable of realizing there is food to eat on the shelves, not sure what to do, they rush to the fast food restaurant because that’s the only way they can figure out how to feed themselves? Give me fries and soda because I’m so stupid. I don’t know what groceries are so feed me cakes and candies. Screw you Carl’s Jr.

I also love the commercials where not only the dad is depicted as a moron, but the mom of the family is some all knowing and wise matronly goddess. Wait, please women, don’t be so quick to beat me about my retarded simpleton man-head. I respect a woman’s role in a family, and I wont pretend women don’t deserve tons of praise for what they do. I’m not sure if I could do what my wife does every day. This is why the world was designed with women AND men. But why is there such a contrast between men and women on TV? On TV women are all knowing and men need to wear Velcro shoes because they forgot how to tie their laces.

And don’t get me started on children in these commercials. Too late. Why do these kids always seem like they have more wisdom and life experience then their parents? How many teenagers not only know whats best for themselves, but also how to solve their parents problems? The answer is none, but on TV you see it all the time. Hi Dad, I’m you’re perky 14 year old daughter, since my homework is done and I have no problems of my own, let me drop a little knowledge on what you’re doing wrong. Screw you you fictional 14 year old smart ass, you don’t exist in the real world, why the hell are you on my TV? I can suspend my disbelief for a Transformers action movie, but not some commercial selling me frozen dinners.

I don’t expect to see Andy Griffith selling things on TV anytime soon, but it would be better then what we have now. Some sort of ideal to aspire to. But for better or worse we don’t live in Mayberry, because just like the people in these commercials it never existed. I realize this isn’t anything new, and I laugh my ass off every time I see the bumbling dad on Modern Family misinterpret a situation. It’s funny. But he’s a fake dad with fake problems living in a fake world. Don’t get it confused. I’d just like to remind everyone to be critical of advertisers trying to murder you and take all your money. Too far? I thought so. What I meant there was don’t let them lower your expectations of how men should act in the real world.


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